Welcome to OOTD with Mother Haggard!

In this week’s OOTD, we’re going GLAM.

Enough of the yoga pants, right?! No more huge, red sweatpants! No more bags of vomit-soaked clothes! Where’s the glitz? The razzle-dazzle? COME ON!

No. Good lord, no. I’m just kidding.

Today we’re taking the dog for a walk. In yoga pants.

This look is perfect for busy moms on the go, who also have an extremely stubborn dog who sits by the door waiting to go outside three to six times a day but when you take her outside, she prefers to eat garbage and then sit in one spot and not move, even when a homeless man who is screaming that the trees are on fire is fast approaching you.

This is a great look for that.

Today’s Look: “Sweats & Pets”

Let’s start with the number one rule of fashion:

If you EVER find an article of clothing that has your name on it, you purchase it.

It is endlessly amusing and satisfying to walk around in a sweatshirt, t-shirt or hat that has your name on it, and it is also quite sophisticated.

…Even if after purchasing it you discover it has a gigantic, gaping hole in the side that is so large that you could fit a watermelon or your toddler’s head inside of it.

…Even if you suspect that the sweatshirt you are wearing may be advertising for a gentlemen’s club.

*performs quick Google search to see if Sir Sam’s Inn is, in fact, a strip club. It appears to be an Ontario hotel and spa with favorable reviews, although some guests think breakfast should be included with the price of the room*

Think LIGHT when it comes to accessories for this OOTD.

Leave the bulky diaper bags at home, since your hands will likely be full of bags containing your dog’s excrement.

A baby wipe holder can double as your clutch, which is the perfect size for the bare necessities: keys, phone, lipstick, a five dollar bill in case of emergency and 250 baby wipes.

(HAHA! Just kidding! Who has five dollars to carry around?!?!)

And now for the biggest question on the runways this season:

Should you color coordinate with your pet on walks?

It’s a hotly debated subject, with the experts firmly split. (Armani says yes, Chanel says no.)

But the answer is YES.

A red and black color palette is always chic—sexy without being overpowering.

It instantly brings to mind a casual stroll down a cobblestone street in Paris, or a two day, one night stay in a northern Ontario Inn and Spa where Jill from TripAdvisor said the cleanliness was “okay but not great.” 

Finish the look with a nice, high ponytail because your toddler has currently hidden your hairbrush, and shoes, because, as your concerned neighbor has told you several times, it’s good to wear shoes outside. (Whatever, Claire.)

My fashionable friends:

What color palette are you and your dog rocking this season? (Cobalt blue and turquoise are another fave of mine!) Have you discovered the joy of wearing a very large sweatshirt with your name on it? Do you wear shoes outside?

Tell me all about it in the comments!