Welcome to OOTD with Mother Haggard!
Have you ever thought to yourself, “Ugh, these stylish, clean, and properly-fitting clothes are fine and all, but I just wish I looked more like a Mom Blogger”?
Of course you have. You’re human, after all.
Well, you’re in luck: this week we’re breaking down exactly what you need to style yourself like a Mom Blogger.
Are you ready? I sure hope so, because we’ve just gotten the kids into bed, the dishes washed, and the coffee prepped, so for the next three hours it’s PRIME MOM BLOGGING TIME.
Today’s Look: Mom Blogger
Two pieces are crucial in achieving the Mom Blogger look:
1.) The biggest pajama shirt you own
2.) Black leggings.
As for accessories, we’ll keep it equally simple: the ever-present baby monitor, and, of course, your trusty laptop.
These pieces allow you the flexibility you need to settle into your various home offices (AKA the kitchen table, the couch, and the living room floor) and to start your evening with style.
This usually means musing over the To-Do list you wrote at the beginning of the week, which included publishing three blog posts, 12 Facebook Page posts, joining four new Pinterest group boards and drafting a guest post, and then recalling what you actually accomplished: two showers and one load of laundry consisting of dish towels and baby socks.
A classic color combo of maroon and gold will keep you cool-headed even when the brainstorming session for your next blog post has gone terribly awry.
–437 Reasons Why Nap Time Blows —NO NO NO IT’S BEEN DONE
-17 Ways to Cope When Your Toddler Will Only Eat While Holding a Mr. Bean Figurine—NOT AS RELATABLE AS YOU THINK
-The Top 10 Sexiest Board Book Characters—THIS IS NOT A GOOD IDEA
–What Kind of Moms Would the Sweet Valley High Characters Be? Enid Rollins Will Shock You! —DERIVATIVE SHITE
–What I Learned When I Stopped Showering for 81 Days —WHY ARE YOU THE WAY YOU ARE
Writer’s block hitting you hard?
No problem! Black leggings made entirely of spandex allow you to effortlessly amble over to the fridge and remain there for the next 30 minutes while you search for something to eat that contains sugar.
Need to squat while you shove aside all of the half-empty condiment bottles in search of old pie?
Leggings got you covered.
Gotta stand on your tiptoes to see if any ice cream remains in the back of the freezer?
Leggings won’t let you down.
Need to collapse into a ball on the floor and weep when all you discover is a carton of salad that you bought last week after vowing that THIS would be the week you got healthy?
Weep on, my friend. Leggings are practically built for bloggers crying in the fetal position.
Novelty cake socks match your exuberant mood after remembering you have a hidden stash of treats in the back of the cupboard for “Halloween prep.”
Eight Reeses, 32 Oreos and two full size chocolate bars (it’s fine, it’s FINE; it’s DARK chocolate, you say to yourself, ignoring the “100 Percent Milk Chocolate” clearly printed on the label), you finally settle into your blogging groove for the evening.
“Genius,” you cackle aloud, as you grab another fistful of Oreo and add the final paragraph to your article about postpartum fitness. “This is freakin’ genius. I’m gonna make seven pins for this one. NO. TEN. TEN PINS. AND I’M GOING TO FINALLY SET UP THAT INSTAGRAM ACCOUNT, TOO.”
Your XXXL pajama shirt allows the transition from manic blogging to sleeping to be seamless.
“Too…many…stop…words…in…my…slug…” you mutter, as you drift off to sleep on the couch at 2:14AM.
Your partner comes to collect you at 3AM and you blearily share your amazing idea about a plug-in that writes blog posts for you.
He has no idea what you are talking about.
In the morning (so, two hours later), you re-read your post and discover that in your sugar-induced high, your genius piece about postpartum fitness was actually just a series of incoherent tweets ranting about dark chocolate and Mr. Bean.
It has been retweeted several times.
Finish off the look with a messy bun, under eye circles that are darker than the darkest night, and a laptop that always has 15 tabs open on it.
Will YOU be rocking the Mom Blogger look this season?
Let me know!
WANT MORE OOTD? YOU GOT IT.
-Looking for summer outfit inspiration? Look no further.
-Ready to start planning your fall wardrobe? (Um, yes please.) Let’s start here.
-Has your carsick toddler just vomited all over your car? Got ya covered.
I will be rocking the look. I think my biggest tee shirt is lime green though, which actually really complements all the red I see as I try to figure out social media algorithms. A word, until four months ago, I had given virtually no thought to. I’m digging all the snacks too, but it’s too spendy to buy Oreos all the time, I find if I have too Many I have to buy a new wardrobe.
You are going to ROCK the lime green. I can just feel it. Don’t forget the novelty socks!
I think the Oreos are a coping mechanism to help me with the social media algorithms. But you’re right—they’re pretty costly. Luckily, I have re-routed most of the money I used to use towards my personal hygiene to go to my nightly blogging snack fund, so I can keep the Oreos for a few more weeks. Then it’s rice crackers and peanut butter.
Novelty cake socks are always a good idea. They scream WHIMSY! PARTY!…CAKE! even when the rest of you is clearly a less than no nonsense mom blogger on a mission.
P.S. I think “Rants about Dark Chocolate and Mr. Bean” could easily be turned into a beat poem, if you were looking for something else to add to your to do list.
You know what, I WAS looking for more things to add to the ol’ To Do list! And it’s been severely lacking in any kind of beat poetry lately (except for a quick one I made up for Lucy about her love of feta cheese, entitled “Salty Cheese Time”) so I think this is a genius idea. To be honest, I might just scrap the whole blogging thing and focus all of my efforts on “Rants about Dark Chocolate and Mr. Bean.” Seems like the reasonable thing to do.
You have nailed the mom blogger look! That’s pretty much the outfit I have on every day. The best part about it is how comfy it is. However, I have no idea what your talking about with doing the dishes before blogging for the night lol. I skip the dishes in order to blog. I figure they’ll still be there tomorrow. Oh well. I’m very jealous of your blogger snacks though and suddenly very hungry for chocolate.
Liz Talton/Pitter Patter of Baby Feet
Hey Liz! Glad you like the mom blogger look. I’ll admit, my blogging snacks aren’t usually this collection of riches. My usual routine is to dig through the cupboards and find nothing but an old container of applesauce or stale cereal. Spoonfuls of peanut butter are often consumed in desperation.
And ugh, the dishes. It’s weird. My house can be (and is!) in complete shambles and I’m okay with it, but if there are dishes in the sink, I gotta do them before I start my work for the night. It’s a real drag. Especially because we somehow seem to use 600 spoons a day.