As in, the journal that you excitedly purchased after becoming a mom and swore you would write in diligently every day and record all of your precious child’s accomplishments?
Yup. That one.
You would think that as someone who enjoys writing, especially about motherhood and babies, and even occasionally gets paid to write about these topics, that I’d be excellent at keeping a journal.
NOT SO.
Not so…at all.
Imagine this scenario:
It’s winter.
It’s cold. So very, very cold.
You and your small kids haven’t left the house in DAYS.
Your toddler keeps asking you to retell the story about the time you guys took a train to the toy store (which, by the way, has never happened), and your other child is eating Play-Doh.
It’s 4:30PM and you forgot to put dinner in the slow cooker, and so far today you’ve only consumed coffee and string cheese (okay, okay, and half a bag of Goldfish, WHATEVER).
You have approximately 600 loads of laundry to do, and your brain feels like it is actually buzzing with the amount of items on your to-do list. (One of these items is to give the dog a flea bath, so that buzzing may in fact be fleas. Not sure.)
Because you’ve got enough on your plate without worrying about throwing together an outfit at 5:17AM when your toddler wakes you up asking for whipped cream.
That cute linen shirt that you bought three years ago and haven’t worn once because it’s Dry Clean Only?
Nope. Not in your capsule wardrobe.
Your trusty, really, really soft bathrobe that you like to wear around the house for the first eight hours of the day?
Yup. You bet your bippy that’s going in your capsule wardrobe.
Having a realistic stay-at-home mom winter capsule wardrobe will make getting dressed each morning a BREEZE.
Even if you haven’t slept in three years.
NEW ARTICLE ON HER VIEW FROM HOME
Naptime can be the best.
Finally having the chance to sit down with a nice cup of cold coffee and a pack of Oreos a bowl of quinoa and watch four episodes of Grey’s Anatomy in a row?
YES. Sign me up. I freakin’ love naptime.
But the actual getting-child-to-nap part?
The 1.5 hour struggle, the reading of Elmo’s Night Before Christmas 12 times in a row even though it’s nowhere near Christmas, the tears, sweat, and complete and utter frustration?
Let’s go into this in more detail, shall we?
Your days will be full of wondrous activities, such as:
-romping outside in the fresh snow every day
-building snowmen
-drinking hot chocolate
-reading books by the fire
-and cuddling under blankets together.
Ah, sweet winter bliss.
-spending 1.5 hours attempting to put on a single pair of gloves
-repeating the phrase, “Yes, you need a jacket; it’s minus fifteen outside!” until the words no longer hold meaning
-waking up at 6AM to your toddler asking, “Playground now?” Every. Single. Day.
-texting your partner to pick up pizza and a treat on the way home because your child is “in a mood” again
-and basically spending most of your time trapped in your home and relating FAR too much to Emma Donoghue’s novel, Room.
Surviving winter with a toddler is tough. But it can be done!
I’ll show you exactly how you can not only survive winter stuck indoors with your rambunctious toddler, but how you can THRIVE while doing so!
Here is the ultimate guide you NEED for surviving winter with your toddler!
The time has come to plan your baby’s FIRST birthday party.
Can you even believe it?
Weren’t you JUST in labor? Didn’t you bring your little wrinkled bundle of joy home like three days ago? Wasn’t it just yesterday you were trying unsuccessfully to transfer your babe from a bassinet into the beautiful white crib you purchased but was ultimately never used except for storage of dirty laundry?
Man. Time flies, eh?
And now: it’s time to plan your baby’s first birthday party.
And you need something special for this occasion. Something REALLY special.
Disney? Nah.
Jungle? Meh.
Under the Sea? It’s been done.
No problem. I read you loud and clear.
That first year as a new mom is a completely life-altering experience.
Holding your baby for the first time.
Just living off of that sweet new baby scent.
Soft, quiet, blissed-out cuddles.
The first smile. That first laugh. The first word. (Seriously, “dog”? I CREATED YOU)
There is absolute joy beyond measure.
I mean, come ON. Just look at that face.
But man, if it isn’t also one of the toughest years of your life.
And maybe you’re in a phase right now where it’s more tears than smiles.
Where you’re ending each day feeling like a failure and also like you stress-ate an entire cake on the couch while Googling “whatever happened to the cast of Family Matters?” (Just an example, okay? Just an example.)
That it’s okay if you feel like you aren’t a natural at being a mother.
That it’s okay to want a break. To feel like you’re not strong enough. To count the hours until bed time. To not embrace every single moment, because holy cow, that’s a lot of moments.
For those of you currently in the trenches, let’s talk about the struggle.
Here are the seven biggest struggles that I faced as a new mom.
So, you’ve just signed up for Mom and Baby swim class.
And you’re excited!
You know it’s important to start the water education journey early, and that there are tons of benefits to baby swimming.
Okay, and yeah, maybe you’re mostly just pumped about your baby wearing that adorable bathing suit with the ruffle on the butt. (Slightly less pumped about your faded grey tankini that doesn’t quite fit your new mom bod, but it’s fine. Totally fine.)
But you’re also nervous: what exactly happens at these classes, anyway?
Let’s walk through the ten things that happen at your first Mom and Baby swim class.
(Warning: there’s way more singing than you think.)
I have worked many jobs in my day.
My first job was a grocery store cashier when I was fourteen. I wore a mint green vest and a floppy clip-on bow tie. (Publix: Where Shopping is a Pleasure.)
I once worked at a university campus during the summer, and one day a week, my job was to walk around the campus and flush every toilet. An entire day spent each week just flushing toilets. (I eventually grew to love it and I still have not ruled it out as a potential career one day.)
An indie coffee shop that I romanticized in my head, but in reality the owners would take pictures of the crumbs that I missed when sweeping and email them to me at home.
A hip barber shop where I had to talk about things like beard trims way too seriously for my liking.
I’ve worked in many, many different offices. Real estate law. Entertainment. Alumni Services. Property Management.
Out of all of these jobs, in all of those fields, I can safely say that none of them kick my ass as much as being a stay-at-home mom does. It’s like the weirdest, most demanding unpaid internship ever, with either the best boss or the worst boss, depending on how many naps have occurred that day.
Feel like taking a closer look?
Come join me and my daughter Lucy for a day! Don’t wear anything nice. Ignore the barking dog. Don’t try to pet the cat. And bring some something sweet, please.
So. You have a cute baby and you have a cute dog.
Congrats! Ain’t life grand?
No! you wail, gnawing at the head of a stale chocolate Easter bunny. I have a cute baby and a cute dog, but my pictures of them are so terrible that no one can tell! Will this torture ever end?!
I feel you. It’s tough. I myself have been through COUNTLESS horrible photoshoots, trying to capture a single picture of my toddler and dog together. And not even a good picture. Just a picture of them in the vicinity of each other.
These photoshoots used to end in total frustration for everyone involved. But I’ve learned from these mishaps, and I am now ready to tell you how to capture that beautiful, striking photo of your adorable baby and dog.
Here are my top 5 tips for taking that perfect photo of your baby and dog:
A List of Things I have Blamed on Teething:
