Teething, man.
I thought I had a grip on it.
“Aw, honey—are your teeth bugging you? Here’s some frozen fruit and a hug.”
And then the molars started arriving.
Me: “Good morning, sweetheart! What should we do today?”
Toddler: *Screams* *Drools* *Chews on fingers*
I hear you. Sometimes, especially being a stay-at-home mom, it seems like my day is made up of the same routines, day in and day out.
Where did the spontaneity go? The excitement? That sudden rush of danger that makes you feel alive?
Well, look no further!
Here are a few guaranteed ways to break out of that boring rut and bring back the thrills:
3 Ways I Supplement My Family’s Income Since Becoming a Stay at Home Mom
Ah, those early newborn days.
The delight of inhaling your new baby’s sweet scent.
The hours spent gazing at each finger and toe, so tiny and perfectly formed.
The capturing of every single moment with your phone’s camera, because you swear that she’s making a slightly different expression in this one.
…And the endless nursing sessions, spent watching twelve hours of Grey’s Anatomy while trying not to slop your lunch on your newborn’s head, and realizing that you can hold your pee for a very, very long time.
All pure magic.
Ah, that charming morning ritual where your husband cheerfully declares how well the baby slept last night and you try not to set fire to the kitchen after receiving only 1.5 hours of sleep due to a crying, not-sleeping baby.
“Pass the sugar, please, dear. The entire bag. Now. Give it to me now.”
By now, you have probably learned that I have a keen sense of fashion. A distinct personal style. A look that is at once both extremely sexy and utterly baffling, with just a touch of elasticized ankle.
It is true. And motherhood has only upped my fashion game.
Since starting the OOTD series, I’ve been inundated with emails from readers with questions about my sense of style.
Q: Where did you get those huge, red sweatpants? I have to find a pair! — Joanna, Oshawa
A: They’re pretty great, huh? So versatile! Well, Joanna, I could have sworn that they were Dior, but when I went to check the label, it said Hanes Her Way. So, frankly, I’m a little confused. We’ll just assume they’re Dior.
Q: Love that Big Potato shirt. Can I substitute a t-shirt with another huge vegetable on it and achieve the same look?—Velvet, Toronto
A: Thanks, Velvet! And no.
Q: I’m super into the elf sock look but am nervous that I can’t pull it off! What’s your secret?—Christina, Antigonish
A: I feel you, Christina! It’s a tough look to pull off. The secret is to just provide a HINT of elf. Anything more is just too much elf. Hope that helps!
Q: You seem to be taking a lot of pictures in the garbage alley lately. Can you come inside so we can eat dinner?—My Husband, Living Room
A: Hi, dear. Be right there. You can start on the cereal without me.
And on and on the questions go. Quite exhausting, really.
I thought I’d perhaps save a few readers the trouble of emailing and walk you through my ideal outfit.
Shall we?
In the words of Homer Simpson, “Every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home wine-making course and I forgot how to drive?”
Yes, Homer, I do.
Actually, I don’t, because I don’t remember anything anymore, but that’s okay.
I’ve got a case of the mom brain. And I got it badddd.
Is it because of the overwhelming responsibility of keeping another human being alive? Or because I haven’t slept in two years? Or perhaps because I exist purely on sugar now?
I don’t know. But I DO know the ranking of my daughter’s favorite colors of Play-Doh, so that’s good, right?
Here are the 5 Things I’ve Lost to Mom Brain (…and the 5 Things I’ve Gained).
Welcome to a very special edition of Mom Life Monday—IT’S QUIZ TIME!
This quiz asks the extremely important and not-at-all confusing question:
(…Just go with it, okay? I had to clean sweet potato out of a belly button today, so just go with it.)
Ready? Here we go.
7 Things that Happen When You Bring a Young Toddler to the Grocery Store
(as told via Supermarket Sweep gifs)
