3 Ways I Supplement our Family’s Income Since Becoming a Stay at Home Mom
1.) Creating my own personalized line of skin care products and going door-to-door in our apartment building to sell them.
Consisting of expired Play-Doh, oatmeal and breastmilk, H’Aggarde will leave you feeling exhilarated, slightly dazed and slightly crusty.
For best results, purchase the complete set of facial wash, toner, astringent, body scrub, body mist and two complimentary bath bombs.
Available in “Eau de Doh” and “Green.” ($299.99 for complete set)
2.) Pitching my latest book line to publishers, which features award-winning classic tragedies turned into board books for babies.
The latest adaptations include:
“Angie’s Ashes” (Angela’s Ashes)
“Daddy, Me and our Shopping Cart” (The Road)
“Shhh! It’s Quiet Time” (100 Years of Solitude)
“Sometimes I Feel Sad” (Les Miserables)
No bites yet, but I’m pretty sure that my newest work, “Poor Jude’s Very Bad Day” (Jude the Obscure) will get some buzz going.
3.) Starting my own interior design company, Haggard Homes.
Are you a homeowner worried that your house is just too clean? Does your home lack character? Do you wish your digs had that cozy, “lived-in” feeling?
Worry no more!
Armed with just my toddler, two sets of Mega Bloks, 300 broken crayons, and a sippy cup of milk , Haggard Homes will completely transform your antiseptic, soulless living space into a chaotic, disheveled, filthy heap of a house.
And you don’t need to worry about a long decorating process! We get the job done in ten minutes or less, or your money back.
Email me to arrange consultation.
How about you guys?
How are you bringing in some bucks? Is your blog helping, or instead costing you quite a bit of money and all of your time, like mine? What tragedy would YOU like to see turned into a board book?
Let me know in the comments!
The Fault in our Stars? Or we could just go straight up Shakespearian, I’d love a Board Book covering Macbeth. For a minute there I could only think of Matlock. It’s been a long week. Also, I’d like to subscribe to “Green” and Haggard Homes, though I think the boys have Haggard-ed our home pretty well all by themselves.
Wait, wait, wait a minute here. Forget the Shakespeare. There MUST be a Matlock board book! Pure genius there!
For your inspired thinking, I will be shipping you a COMPLIMENTARY H’Aggarde product line in “Green” and you know what? I’m even gonna throw in the all natural deodorant, which makes it seem like you’ve showered, even when you haven’t! I’ve been testing it out for 19 months now, and it works like a dream! (Although, come to think of it, I don’t seem to have any friends anymore, but that’s probably an unrelated matter.)
MH, I’m loving the children’s book pitches idea! This has limitless potential! I’m thinking: “Every Face is a Good Face” or “Crooked Smiles” (The Elephant Man), “I Should Really Play Outside More” (Notes from Underground), or “Trains are for Riding” (Anna Karenina).
P.S. Any chance of an Eau de Doh deodorant down the line?
You know what? I think I want to hire you. Would you like to join the Ma Hag team? Right now we’re focusing pretty much on making it through bath time with no tears and on maybe trying to learn how to use a fork sometime soon, but I could really use you on the children’s book pitches. You’ve convinced me you have what it takes. Feel like tackling some Ann Patchetts or Paul Austers?