Welcome to a very special edition of Mom Life Monday—IT’S QUIZ TIME!

This quiz asks the extremely important and not-at-all confusing question:

What Level of “Mom” Have You Reached?

(Just go with it, okay? I had to clean sweet potato out of a belly button today, so just go with it.)

Ready? Here we go.

Read the following 20 items and give yourself one point for each item you have done while holding a baby.

• Taken a shower
• Peed and then attempted to awkwardly wash one hand
• Done a load of laundry consisting mostly of mismatched socks, tea towels and dirty bibs
• Eaten a burrito
• Administered your dog’s ear medication
• Put on Blundstone boots
• Attempted a mom and baby postpartum exercise video off of YouTube, only to have it end with a screaming baby and you eating three rows of Oreos
• Tried to pluck your eyebrows
• Assemble, use very briefly, and then disassemble your large, extremely heavy stroller
• Flown on a plane
• Put on a pair of jeans with no stretch
• Remain on hold for two hours to settle a dispute with your internet company on speakerphone about if you paid a bill three months late (…you did)
• Made an entire dinner for your family that did not involve a slow cooker
• Watched twelve episodes of Grey’s Anatomy in a row
• Put on a slightly damp bathing suit while trying to prepare for baby swim class, which was not as much fun as you thought it would be
• Cleaned up the cat’s hairball in the hallway
• Managed to pull your hair into a ponytail
• Walked to the grocery store, purchased items to make Red Lobster cheddar biscuits, walked home, prepared Red Lobster cheddar biscuits, ate Red Lobster cheddar biscuits
• Had your teeth cleaned or a pap exam
• Walked the dog

SEE YOUR RESULTS!

Now tally it up: how many points do you have?

N/A: YOU DIDN’T TAKE THE QUIZ BECAUSE QUIZZES ARE LAME BUT YOU STILL WANT YOUR RESULTS

Congrats! You are Mr. Feeny from Boy Meets World, you big curmudgeon, you. Lighten up, okay?

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*Note: if you did not take the quiz because you are currently holding a baby, please skip to the “Mom-Level Major” level.

0-7 POINTS: YOU ARE MOM-LEVEL LITE

Congrats! You are Rachel from Friends after she and Ross have a baby, who then appears in two episodes and is never seen again.

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But hey! Don’t worry. You have a great support system in place, so you’ll be fine.

You might be a bit concerned about the fact that your baby’s father once owned a monkey, but we all have our demons, don’t we?

The bigger issue at hand: where is your baby???

8-14 POINTS: YOU ARE MOM-LEVEL MODERATE

Congrats! You are Jill Taylor from Home Improvement.

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You manage a household of three boys with ease, and you have a great collection of very long, oversized sweaters which you look amazing in. If you can tolerate your husband’s incessant grunting, you can certainly handle eating a burrito while holding a baby. Keep up the good work.

15-20 POINTS: YOU ARE MOM-LEVEL MAJOR

Congrats! You are collectively Danny Tanner, Uncle Jesse and Uncle Joey from Full House!

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You are the ultimate mom.

You’ve seen it all. Done it all. And all whilst holding a baby! Your life may feel like chaos and sometimes you wonder who all of these strange people living with you are (seriously, there seems to be a LOT of people living with you), but girlfriend, you are ROCKING parenthood.

Except for the puppet thing. You need to stop with the puppet thing. Nobody wants to say anything to you, but it’s weird.

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21-84 Points: MOM-LEVEL MOTHER HAGGARD

Uh oh. Something’s gone terribly wrong here.

You are Doug Heffernan from The King of Queens.

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Now put your baby down and take a nap, because you probably really, really need a nap.

Okay, TIME TO SPILL.

Who’d ya get?

I obviously ranked as Doug Heffernan, which I blame on the fact that I stayed up until 1:30AM last night looking at gifs of Rachel Green and Danny Tanner.

I regret nothing.