As in, the journal that you excitedly purchased after becoming a mom and swore you would write in diligently every day and record all of your precious child’s accomplishments?
Yup. That one.
You would think that as someone who enjoys writing, especially about motherhood and babies, and even occasionally gets paid to write about these topics, that I’d be excellent at keeping a journal.
NOT SO.
Not so…at all.
NEW ARTICLE ON HER VIEW FROM HOME
Naptime can be the best.
Finally having the chance to sit down with a nice cup of cold coffee and a pack of Oreos a bowl of quinoa and watch four episodes of Grey’s Anatomy in a row?
YES. Sign me up. I freakin’ love naptime.
But the actual getting-child-to-nap part?
The 1.5 hour struggle, the reading of Elmo’s Night Before Christmas 12 times in a row even though it’s nowhere near Christmas, the tears, sweat, and complete and utter frustration?
Let’s go into this in more detail, shall we?
Ah, those early newborn days.
The delight of inhaling your new baby’s sweet scent.
The hours spent gazing at each finger and toe, so tiny and perfectly formed.
The capturing of every single moment with your phone’s camera, because you swear that she’s making a slightly different expression in this one.
…And the endless nursing sessions, spent watching twelve hours of Grey’s Anatomy while trying not to slop your lunch on your newborn’s head, and realizing that you can hold your pee for a very, very long time.
All pure magic.
So. You have a cute baby and you have a cute dog.
Congrats! Ain’t life grand?
No! you wail, gnawing at the head of a stale chocolate Easter bunny. I have a cute baby and a cute dog, but my pictures of them are so terrible that no one can tell! Will this torture ever end?!
I feel you. It’s tough. I myself have been through COUNTLESS horrible photoshoots, trying to capture a single picture of my toddler and dog together. And not even a good picture. Just a picture of them in the vicinity of each other.
These photoshoots used to end in total frustration for everyone involved. But I’ve learned from these mishaps, and I am now ready to tell you how to capture that beautiful, striking photo of your adorable baby and dog.
Here are my top 5 tips for taking that perfect photo of your baby and dog:
A List of Things I am Usually Doing When My Baby Wakes Up Early From a Nap:
A List of Things I have Blamed on Teething:
A List of Things I Have Done in Public to Make My Baby Laugh:
Welcome to the first MomLife Monday, a new series of inspirational quotes, provocative questions and debatable wisdom designed to help get you through the week!
Towards the end of my big, fat, long, hot, sick, swollen pregnancy, I started to finally feel that I was ready to do that whole “giving-birth-and-entering-motherhood” thing.
I had read the books.
Did the prenatal classes.
Had my weight recorded loudly by the receptionist at my OB’s office approximately 800 times. (Tell me, please, WHY would you put the scale in the always-crowded waiting room? What a cruel bit of interior design clearly not planned by a pregnant woman.)
I had studied the blogs; watched The Business of Being Born.
I knew not to buy too many newborn-sized clothes or diapers because my baby might be huge and not fit into them. (I didn’t need to worry; she was 8 pounds and wore them for a month.)
I knew I didn’t want a C-section. (That’s how it works, right? You decide how you want your birth to go and you write it on your birth plan?…totally ended up with a C-section.)
I knew I would be too tired to cook, so I made three freezer meals. (Oh good…all set.)
I knew I would want to drink lots of coffee, so I bought a better coffee maker. (This was probably the one smart thing I did.)
I knew there would be no sleep, lots of diaper changes, spit up, and some crying.
I knew it would be hard. I thought I was prepared. (You just keep eating dessert with every meal and telling yourself that, dear…)
For those of you busy changing a diaper, prying a cell phone out of your baby’s hands or chasing a toddler around, this version might be more your speed:
TL; DR: Had a baby, went a little crazy, started a blog. Welcome!
And for those of you on naptime/after hours (holla!):
Hey there new moms, dads, expectant parents, experienced parents, and confused Google users who were searching for Merle Haggard!
Welcome to Mother Haggard.
I’m so glad you’re here.
So why are we all gathered here today? you ask. Is this one of them mommy blogs? And where can I find information on Merle Haggard?!
Excellent questions. Or decent ones, at least. Can’t help you with the Merle, though.
(Well fine message me I guess if you really need info on Merle Haggard and I will see if I can help.)
AHEM.
We’re here today to talk about babies. And toddlers. And motherhood, fatherhood, parenthood. Maybe dogs, sometimes. I like dogs. And books! Board books. And brownies. But mostly the wild, wonderful, weird and beyond wearying journey that is becoming a parent.
