Things I am Usually Doing When My Baby Wakes Up Early from a Nap:
- Settling into the couch and pulling a blanket over myself, thinking, “You know what, maybe I’ll nap, too…”
- Having a breakthrough with the plot of one of the many board books I am currently writing, which is then promptly forgotten about (Oh, The Enchanted Hairball, you deserve so much more than I can give you right now.)
- Finally reaching an actual person after being on hold for the past hour with the phone company to discuss why my bill is so high when I only use my phone to text my husband to pick up more milk and chocolate cake
- Cleaning up cat puke
- Sitting in the middle of a huge pile of clothes after deciding today would be a great day to reorganize my closet (the pile remains there, untouched, for the next six months)
- Chopping an onion
- Eating chocolate cake
My tired friends who are currently glued to the baby monitor, let’s turn this over to you:
What’s your go-to chant when you see your baby start to stir on the monitor after a 15 minute nap? Do you use the classic, “no no no No No NOOOO“? I’ve had varied success with this one.
Or perhaps more of the panicked whispered monologue while standing in your kitchen, e.g.: “Okay he’s sitting up. Pick up the pacifier. Pick it up. That’s right; there it is. Yes. YES! Now put it in. Do it. Yes, good baby. No, don’t spit it out. NO! Why? Why would you do that? Don’t stand up. No standing. Oh god. He’s standing. It’s over. It’s all over.”
Tell me your chants, your monologues, your nap time incantations. I love hearing from you.
And most importantly, can I count on you to order your advance copy of The Enchanted Hairball? Starring an elderly, grumpy cat who has trouble digesting her food, it is guaranteed to delight babies and adults alike!
Limit of four per order.
Hey there, Mama H!
‘The Enchanted Hairball’ is a modern retelling of the ancient Egyptian myth of REE-O-RAAA, the sacred feline Empress who smashed her body up against the bedrooms doors of infidels, isn’t it? Mark me down for a copy for sure!
As for all things nap-related, I can only share with you the exclamation I use whenever I find myself waking up from a nap, which is just more of a guttural “uuuugggggghhhh”. I’m typically very uneasy while awake.
Hey Michelle! That’s a pretty accurate summary of “The Enchanted Hairball” but since it is aimed for the 0-3 crowd, I have had to tone down a few themes; namely, the whole reincarnation of the cat who once ruled Egypt and all of mankind and now lives in a mud room in Ontario. But you’ll be happy to hear that I am also working on a novel version of “The Enchanted Hairball” which gets pretty dark, pretty fast. I’ll put you down for one of those, too. Thanks for your support! A small portion of every book sold goes to feed a very large beabull.
Along with all of my nap time chanting, I am usually pretty consistent in making a sound that is similar to sobbing upon waking up. Especially if the wakings occur at 12AM, 2AM and 5AM.