Browsing Category Wise Mother Haggard

How to Make a Winter Capsule Wardrobe for the Stay-at-Home Mom

in Mom Life OOTD Wise Mother Haggard on February 11, 2019 February 11, 2019

Imagine this scenario:

It’s winter.

You and your small kids haven’t left the house in DAYS.

Your toddler keeps asking you to retell the story about the time you guys took a train to the toy store (which, by the way, has never happened), and your other child is eating Play-Doh.

It’s 4:30PM and you forgot to put dinner in the slow cooker, and so far today you’ve only consumed coffee and string cheese (okay, okay, and half a bag of Goldfish, WHATEVER).

You have approximately 600 loads of laundry to do, and your brain feels like it is actually buzzing with the amount of items on your to-do list. (One of these items is to give the dog a flea bath, so that buzzing may in fact be fleas. Not sure.)

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THIS, my friends, is why you need a stay-at-home mom winter capsule wardrobe.

Because you’ve got enough on your plate without worrying about throwing together an outfit at 5:17AM when your toddler wakes you up asking for whipped cream.

Not sure what a capsule wardrobe is? No problem.

Capsule Wardrobe

That cute linen shirt that you bought three years ago and haven’t worn once because it’s Dry Clean Only?

Nope. Not in your capsule wardrobe.

Your trusty, really, really soft bathrobe that you like to wear around the house for the first eight hours of the day?

Yup. You bet your bippy that’s going in your capsule wardrobe.

Having a realistic stay-at-home mom winter capsule wardrobe will make getting dressed each morning a BREEZE.

Even if you haven’t slept in three years.

Build Your Realistic Stay-at-Home Mom Capsule Wardrobe

The Ultimate Guide to Surviving Winter with Your Toddler

in Mom Life Satire Wise Mother Haggard on January 22, 2019 January 22, 2019

The IDEA of winter with a toddler is a glorious one.

Your days will be full of wondrous activities, such as:

-romping outside in the fresh snow every day

-building snowmen

-drinking hot chocolate

-reading books by the fire

-and cuddling under blankets together.

Ah, sweet winter bliss.

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The reality of winter with a toddler?

-spending 1.5 hours attempting to put on a single pair of gloves

-repeating the phrase, “Yes, you need a jacket; it’s minus fifteen outside!” until the words no longer hold meaning

-waking up at 6AM to your toddler asking, “Playground now?” Every. Single. Day.

-texting your partner to pick up pizza and a treat on the way home because your child is “in a mood” again

-and basically spending most of your time trapped in your home and relating FAR too much to Emma Donoghue’s novel, Room.

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Surviving winter with a toddler is tough. But it can be done!

I’ll show you exactly how you can not only survive winter stuck indoors with your rambunctious toddler, but how you can THRIVE while doing so!

Here is the ultimate guide you NEED for surviving winter with your toddler!

10 Things that Happen at Your First Mom & Baby Swim Class

in Mom Life Wise Mother Haggard on August 3, 2018 August 3, 2018

So, you’ve just signed up for Mom and Baby swim class.

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And you’re excited!

You know it’s important to start the water education journey early, and that there are tons of benefits to baby swimming.

Okay, and yeah, maybe you’re mostly just pumped about your baby wearing that adorable bathing suit with the ruffle on the butt. (Slightly less pumped about your faded grey tankini that doesn’t quite fit your new mom bod, but it’s fine. Totally fine.)

But you’re also nervous: what exactly happens at these classes, anyway?

Let’s walk through the ten things that happen at your first Mom and Baby swim class.

(Warning: there’s way more singing than you think.)

How I Grew My Mom Blog's Traffic from 0 to 20 Views in 5 Months, And How You Can, Too!

How I Grew My Mom Blog’s Traffic From 0 to 20 Views in Five Months and How You Can, Too!

in Blogging Satire Wise Mother Haggard on July 4, 2018 October 30, 2018

So, you want to start a mom blog, eh?

Or maybe just a good, old fashioned lifestyle blog.

That’s great! Once upon a time, I was just like you.

Sexy George Washington

And now, a mere six months after starting this blog, I am a changed woman.

I’m blogging full time. (Well, does 2-3 hours a day count? Maybe more if my toddler decides to nap?)

I’m making a ton of money from my blog. (Wait. No. Sorry. That should say I am SPENDING a ton of money on all of the junk food that I eat while working on my blog at night.)

I have a loyal fan base that will follow me to the ends of the earth. (Okay, YES, I may be related to all of them, but is that really relevant? Cool it, Columbo.)

Sounds amazing, right?

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Yes. It does.

And now I’m finally ready to reveal all of my blogging secrets to help YOU start your own blog!

I’m going to walk you through, step by step, exactly what I did to to grow my traffic into the tens of people over a very long period of time.

Are you ready for a lot of work and absolutely no monetary gain?!

LET’S DO THIS!

5 Tips for Taking the Perfect Photo of Your Baby & Dog

in Mom Life Wise Mother Haggard on April 4, 2018 June 17, 2018

So. You have a cute baby and you have a cute dog.

Congrats! Ain’t life grand?

No! you wail, gnawing at the head of a stale chocolate Easter bunny. I have a cute baby and a cute dog, but my pictures of them are so terrible that no one can tell! Will this torture ever end?!

I feel you. It’s tough. I myself have been through COUNTLESS horrible photoshoots, trying to capture a single picture of my toddler and dog together. And not even a good picture. Just a picture of them in the vicinity of each other.

These photoshoots used to end in total frustration for everyone involved. But I’ve learned from these mishaps, and I am now ready to tell you how to capture that beautiful, striking photo of your adorable baby and dog.

Here are my top 5 tips for taking that perfect photo of your baby and dog:

The Secret to Perfect Naps–Every Time!

in Mom Life Wise Mother Haggard on February 9, 2018 July 29, 2018

If there is one thing that is constantly on your mind during that first year of parenthood, it’s SLEEP.

When will the baby sleep? When will YOU sleep? Sleep when the baby sleeps. Sleeping through the night. Nap sleep. Night sleep. Sleep sacks. Sleepers. Sleep associations. Sleep sheep. Sleepwalking. Sleeping bags. Sleepovers. Birthday parties. Pizza parties! Pizza pockets. Cake. Oh, I love a bit of cake.
What are we talking about again? I’m so tired and hungry.

Oh yes.

That ever elusive sleep.

It’s a doozy of a subject, right?

It’s the topic that I receive the most amount of emails about (except for all of the questions about Merle Haggard. This blog is still not about Merle Haggard. Unless you think I should make it about Merle Haggard? We’ll see how the next few months go), so I figured it was high time that I shared my tried and tested method for naps, which works almost every time.

15 Things I Learned in My First Year of Motherhood

in Mom Life Wise Mother Haggard on January 22, 2018 January 20, 2019

Towards the end of my big, fat, long, hot, sick, swollen pregnancy, I started to finally feel that I was ready to do that whole “giving-birth-and-entering-motherhood” thing.

I had read the books.

Did the prenatal classes.

Had my weight recorded loudly by the receptionist at my OB’s office approximately 800 times. (Tell me, please, WHY would you put the scale in the always-crowded waiting room? What a cruel bit of interior design clearly not planned by a pregnant woman.)

I had studied the blogs; watched The Business of Being Born.

I knew some things.

I knew not to buy too many newborn-sized clothes or diapers because my baby might be huge and not fit into them. (I didn’t need to worry; she was 8 pounds and wore them for a month.)

I knew I didn’t want a C-section. (That’s how it works, right? You decide how you want your birth to go and you write it on your birth plan?…totally ended up with a C-section.)

I knew I would be too tired to cook, so I made three freezer meals. (Oh good…all set.)

I knew I would want to drink lots of coffee, so I bought a better coffee maker. (This was probably the one smart thing I did.)

I knew there would be no sleep, lots of diaper changes, spit up, and some crying.

I knew it would be hard. I thought I was prepared. (You just keep eating dessert with every meal and telling yourself that, dear…)

THIS, my friends, is why you need a stay-at-home mom winter capsule wardrobe.

Not sure what a capsule wardrobe is? No problem.

The IDEA of winter with a toddler is a glorious one.

The reality of winter with a toddler?

I knew some things.

Approximately one hour after giving birth, I knew I was not prepared.