You know what is surprisingly hard to do during the holidays?

Well, yeah, you say, while shovelling an entire piece of cake into your mouth for breakfast (or no? just me?).

Trying to remain sane while seeing extended family.

Eating healthy and exercising when all you want to do is live off of baked goods and Baileys.

Not going broke.

Keeping your child on a proper nap and sleep schedule during the festivities.

Remembering those less fortunate and those struggling through tough times.

Can I eat my breakfast cake now?

Wow. Jeez. Yes to the cake. But no to those answers.

The correct answer is:

Holiday gift shopping for a one year old is surprisingly hard!

Oh, you say, now eating cream cheese icing directly out of the container while standing in front of the fridge and listening to your elderly cat puke up a hairball in the background.

Really? Okay. I guess so?

It’s true.

Once you reach a certain age, you look around and realize that all of your friends are married and have bought houses and now have babies, while you’ve just been taking adult tap dance lessons and collecting funny sweatshirts from thrift stores.

And then suddenly there’s a newborn, a one year old and a four year old on your Christmas shopping list and you can’t rely on your go-to gifts of booze, gift cards, or oddly specific calendars.

I would like this, please.
(via ABitofWhimsyShop from Etsy)

And when you have no babies and zero experience with small children, this can be a daunting task.

Before becoming a parent, I remember wandering the aisles of Toys “R” Us, wondering strange things.

Can a one year old read yet?

Do four year olds like stuffed animals?

Do newborns wear shoes?

When do kids start riding bikes?

Will a two year old just eat Play-Doh?

Who is Princess Tiana and when did all of these new Disney movies come out?

Do babies like puzzles?

Why is all of this stuff so expensive?

And now, as a mother to a one year old (14 months, to be more precise), I feel a bit better prepared to answer some of these questions (One year olds don’t read yet! Probably no shoes for newborns! Not sure about Tiana! Way too expensive!), and thought I should do my small part to help out those frantic, overwhelmed souls who are currently debating whether or not to purchase a life-size stuffed teddy bear for their friend’s new baby (Don’t do it, man. Don’t do it).

Please, allow me to share with you a list of my one year old’s favorite toys to help guide you on your last minute quest.

I’ve included both budget-friendly and big-ticket items, depending on how much you like the kid.

Top Ten Holiday Gifts for a One Year Old

1.) FINGER PUPPETS FROM CARTER’S

My husband and I grabbed a handful of these on a whim when the baby was a month old, after noticing them by the Carter’s checkout.

He was charmed by the idea of putting on puppet shows for our daughter; I was in an otherworldly state due to extreme sleep deprivation, and mistook their bright colors for fun-sized candy bars.

Upon discovering that they were not, in fact, candy bars on the car ride home, I wept. When I finally got over it a few days hours later, I realized they were pretty cute.

And while the baby didn’t seem to properly appreciate the elaborate puppet show that my husband put on for her as a one-month old (well, when IS the proper time to introduce Theater of the Absurd to your child? You tell me), she has grown to love them.

So much so that we now have every single finger puppet sold at Carters, including three of the monkey puppets, all named “Monkey.”

Must get confusing, you say.

It does.

But apart from the general mania and chaos surrounding the multiple monkeys,

(“Hey hon, can you toss me Monkey? I want to bring it in the stroller on our walk.”
“Sure, babe; here you go.”
“No, not that Monkey; the other Monkey. No. I said the other one.”
“She doesn’t like that Monkey right now.”
“Yes she does; it’s the other Monkey she doesn’t like.”
“Well, I don’t know where that Monkey is.
“It’s in the car. I told you to bring it in last night. See? This is what I’m saying. You never listen, goddammit.”
“Oh, because you’re so perfect.”
“Go get Monkey and shut your mouth.”
“Monkey is gone, okay? Get over it. You’re being irrational again. The therapist said—”
“Oh you know everything, don’t you? DON’T YOU? Well I bet you don’t know about that drifter I killed last winter.”
“Who do you think helped you bury him in the park, you thankless idiot?!” etc. etc. etc.),

they are the perfect size for babies to carry around and for little fingers to manipulate. And they’re super cute!!

Carter’s Finger Puppets: 3 for $10

2.) ONE BLUNDSTONE BOOT

While one year olds enjoy carrying around cute, soft, tiny things like finger puppets, they also love carrying big, heavy, cumbersome items, such as boxes, small hand weights, and shoes.

Perhaps the most common item that is often being lugged around my house is one of my Blundstone boots. I have tried swapping the boot for a lightweight slipper, but my daughter will have none of it.

People love a durable, no-lace boot with fine Australian leather, and I can tell you that one year olds are no exception.

My one year old especially enjoys carrying my boot around if I have just returned from the garbage bins in the alley, or if I have just walked the dog in the muddy park, ignoring my frantic calls of “No no no, we have to wait for Mama to clean clean clean!”

I have contacted Blundstone to see if you can purchase just one boot and am awaiting reply. But perhaps if you have a friend who also has a one year old, you guys can go in on a pair together.

Blundstone Boots (Pair): $229.95

3.) SKIP HOP ZOO BATH SQUIRTIES

Basically, any toy that is small, soft and can be chewed upon is extremely popular in my house (with both the baby and the dog), and if the toy resembles an animal, even better.

And while I shudder at the thought of saying the word “squirties,” my daughter loves these little things. I don’t think they’ve ever made it into the bath (the preferred bath time toy is obviously the baby shampoo bottle and whatever washcloth I’m trying to clean her butt with), but they are played with every day and often carried around when we do errands.

Skip Hop Zoo Bath Squirties: $12.99

More in this category:

–Rubber Duckies: We have a collection of 15 rubber duckies (I’m sorry; but I need a moment here: FIFTEEN RUBBER DUCKS. How did this happen?! At one point in my life I wanted to be a minimalist and now I have fifteen rubber duckies) and at any given moment, I will have at least three in my line of sight.

–Munchkin Squirtin’ Barnyard Friends ($14.99): More squeezable and squirtin’ (ugh) fun; this time featuring popular livestock. Excellent for teaching baby her first bath time lesson about sustainable farming and land degradation!

(photo via Amazon)

4.) TV REMOTE CONTROL

This is perhaps the most coveted toy of them all (or tied with a cell phone, at least).

Whenever she has a chance, my one year old will make a beeline for the remote and place it directly into her mouth.

I will admit that it’s not my personal favorite one year old toy, due to both choking fears and also having to endure some pretty weird YouTube loops because my daughter guards the remote very intensely and I am unable to pry it from her freakishly-strong fingers for hours at a time.

But if you’re interested, the remote comes with a TV, which is fun to watch on those occasions when baby randomly decides to start the day at 4:30 a.m. and you just can’t quite function yet.

Remote: $349.99 (comes with Insignia Roku TV 39”)

 5.) FISHER-PRICE BRILLIANT BASICS BABY’S FIRST BLOCKS

These blocks are one of those baby toys that parents can enjoy, too!

These are my go-to toys to play with while my daughter toddles in laps around the play room, saying “dog dog dog ” and pointing to things.

There’s just so much to do with them.

You can sort the blocks.

Stack them.

Balance other toys on top of the stacked blocks.

Put things into the bucket and pretend it’s a purse or a lunch pail.

Gaze into the bucket for prolonged periods of time and think about the foods you wish you were eating for lunch instead of a granola bar.

Clench the blocks tightly in your fist while you contemplate the choices you’ve made in life.

…and so much more!

The blocks come in nice, bright colors, and they’re great for hand-eye coordination and fine motor skills. I’ve become quite fast at putting the blocks into the shape-sorting lid—way faster than my child!

Oh yeah, and the baby likes the blocks too I guess.

Fisher-Price Brilliant Basics Baby’s First Blocks: $14.99

6.) DOG WATER BOWL

The dog’s water bowl is an often-overlooked toy for a one year old.

Here are just a few things a one year old can do with a single dog bowl of water:

• Gently place foot inside of it to see what happens
• Remove wet shoe and sock and place bare foot inside to see what happens
• Dunk hand into it and splash water to face
• Place toys inside of it to see them float
• Place newly cleaned sippy cup of milk inside of it to see if it will float
• Overturn water bowl and then cry
• Do this repeatedly throughout the day and watch Mom cry
• Make dog too frightened and confused to drink from her water bowl

A delightful, fun, mentally stimulating, utterly maddening toy for the whole family! An excellent way for babies to learn cause and effect.

Q&A

Q: I have a one year old who I think would enjoy a dog bowl, but I don’t have a dog. Should I buy a dog and then get a dog bowl?

A: Yes.

Dog Water Bowl: Prices Vary

7.) STACKING CUPS

We have lots of fun with stacking cups.

You build a tower; you knock it down.

And repeat.

And repeat.

You’d think it would get old, but it doesn’t, really.

And what really gets me the baby going is placing a toy on the top of the tower. Often the greatest accomplishment of my day is stacking a particularly difficult toy on top.

I mean, you just don’t know what you’re fully capable of until you manage to balance a set of blocks, a rubber ball, a pink bowl and a plastic bear toy on top of a precarious tower.

“Dream of worthy accomplishments and stay awake to achieve them.”—Author Unknown

Stacking Cups: I don’t know, like 12 bucks? 20? I say just go for it. Then send me pics of your towers and we can be friends. Be my friend. 

8.) BUTT CREAM

There’s just something about a tube full of cream that goes on your butt that’s so appealing to babies.

I’m not sure what it is, but it’s undeniable.

Doesn’t matter the brand (although the blue Penaten is always a hit here), give a baby a choice between a fancy toy and a tube of diaper cream; the butt paste wins every time.

Fun to chew on, makes Mom cringe, and excellent to have meltdowns over when it is pried from little hands. A useful and cost-effective gift!

Penaten Daily Clear Protection Cream (100 grams): $8.79

 9.) BOX OF KLEENEX

If you ever need an entire box of tissues shredded in minutes, simply give it to a one year old.

It’s very amusing to watch the first few times, but I will caution that the novelty wears off quickly.

But it’s perfect for those times when you need a bunch of uneven, ragged pieces of paper to be used as confetti for that party you forgot about, or for when you need to blow your nose but a regular tissue is just too darn big.

A wonderful gift that parents are sure to appreciate.

3 Pack of Kleenex Ultra Soft & Strong (120 tissues, should last roughly 3 minutes): $5.48

10.) PULL-ALONG/PUSH TOYS

Okay, full disclosure here: while my one year old loves her pull-along & push toys, this category is not my favorite.

In fact, most of these types of toys are currently hidden in the room with the forbidden toys.

But this is only because her “pull-along” is more of a “swing around wildly and trip over string” and her “push” is more of a “somehow manage to pick up entire huge toy, stagger about wildly until tipping over” and I live in constant fear of her tripping over things, running into walls and smacking herself with heavy toys.

Sometimes toys just have to go away for awhile, you know?

See you in hell, Let’s Imagine Elmo.

But to shelve my deep fears and intense anxiety for a moment (*my anxiety cackles wildly at this idea and begins to play videos of snakes swallowing large animals in my head on endless loop*), these types of toys are great for busy one year olds who always want to be moving.

And there are so many fun options! Baby lawn mowers, shopping carts, baby doll strollers, that corn popper thing, and the dog that you pull on a string.

We have the Vtech Sit-to-Stand Learning Walker, and whenever she’s not powerlifting it, my daughter has a grand time with it.

Vtech Sit-to-Stand Learning Walker: $49.99

And there you have it—your holiday gift-giving guide for a one year old!

 

 However, I’m still clueless when it comes to other people’s kids or children of different ages (do four year olds like stuffed animals? Is Paw Patrol still a thing?), so let’s help each other out here!

What are your kid’s favorite toys of the moment? Least favorite?

And most importantly, what’s YOUR favorite toy to play with out of your child’s collection? (Please tell me, because there’s only so much you can do with fifteen rubber duckies, you know?)

Happy holidays to you and your families, everyone!